When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
