Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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