I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just blew my weed a kiss
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is her dick bigger than yours?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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