Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
