I think I am morally bankrupt
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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