she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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