this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize