I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
