Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
