Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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