chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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