this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's shark week go big or go home
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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