do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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