I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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