Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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