I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
