im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
