I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
