Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
