so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
