There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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