Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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