you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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