i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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