That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
