Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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