I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm like, not good at living.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I wear drunk well.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize