I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
