so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
