I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
