I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
