I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
