Duck Duck Cougar?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
