All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
