I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
