we made out on top of his cat.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
