I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize