I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
