Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
