i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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