she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
420 ftw
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
