Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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