1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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