This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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