Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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