Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
