My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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