His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
