Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize