the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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