I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
