I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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