it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
