My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize