I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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