so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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