i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm passing your future prison.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
