Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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