I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
