Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
