Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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