that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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