...so i touched it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
