what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
