Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
