Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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(586): I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up http://tfl.nu/t16c

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo

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(413): i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo http://tfl.nu/a19q

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(410): View more from Maryland

is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

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(410): is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend? http://tfl.nu/36no

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(305): View more from Florida

he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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(305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv

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(240): View more from Maryland

I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.

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(240): I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks. http://tfl.nu/t0i5

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(585): View more from New York

I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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(585): I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late. http://tfl.nu/de8d

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(313): View more from Michigan

Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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(313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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(320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines

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(647): I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines http://tfl.nu/pct1

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.

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(203): I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed. http://tfl.nu/np6x

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(210): View more from Texas

when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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(210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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(403): You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck. http://tfl.nu/6fxi

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.

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(313): Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This. http://tfl.nu/r466

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(404): View more from Georgia

Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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(404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.

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(860): I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't. http://tfl.nu/dn0x

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