I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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